Conquering Fear

Children can use their imagination to practice positive outcomes in fearful situations, allowing them to be less stressed and more successful. For example, a young girl I knew found a staircase at the library rather daunting because it seemed dimly lit and steep. She was holding the railing, looking down into the pale light, hesitating. 

"I'm afraid," she said. 

I turned to her and bent down. 

"Let's stop a minute," I suggested. "Close your eyes, and let's picture you walking down the stairs, a step at a time. Imagine that it's easy." 

She took a moment to do as I asked. 

"I see it," she said, smiling. 

"Do you think you can do it now? I'll be right next to you." 

"I can do it," she said. 

She held onto the railing and stepped down with perfect ease. She bravely descended those stairs without fear. Her imagination and practice made a scary endeavor easier. 

A few weeks passed, and then kindergarten approached. I asked my little friend if she was looking forward to starting school. 

She looked at me and said, "I don't want to go, I'm afraid." 

I sat down with her. 

"Do you remember using your imagination when you dreaded the library stairs?"

 "Yes." 

"Well, you can visualize going to school. You can picture smiling and being happy as you walk into class. You can imagine having a friendly, kind, fun teacher. You can imagine making friends, laughing, and playing on the playground. And you can imagine being a good reader and writer, good at math and spelling, good at all of it, including art and music, and having a wonderful time. Can you do that?" 

"I'll try." 

"Do it daily, and it will turn out much better than you think." 

"Okay, thanks." 

And so, we again used her imagination to turn around her fearful thinking. This technique can ease fear and give a child positive energy and confidence. This thinking takes practice time after time, so the brain gets used to using imagination easily and naturally for a positive outcome. The best way to start teaching your child this method is to find a teachable moment when fear pops up organically. Then, talk them through the process to picture success and happiness. Life isn't always going to be easy for them, but this method will help them face those challenges in early life and mountains in later life. Using their imaginations for positive outcomes will be a lifelong ability. 

Tip - Previously, I had explained that using her imagination was creating pictures in her mind. We had already practiced this and discussed it many times. From our previous discussions, she knew the words: mind pictures, visualize, imagines, creates, pretends, etc. She has an excellent vocabulary for a five-year-old. Feel free to repeat those imagination words repeatedly, as I do. Repetition helps children learn new concepts and make connections to previous knowledge and experiences in their brains. This practice will result in a habit. Adults can do this as well.

Thanks for reading!

Denise

Teaching Opportunities

 Dinnertime is an excellent opportunity to talk to your children and help them adjust their recollections and thoughts of the day. Numerous times, I have heard children recount an upsetting event that happened to them at school or with a friend. I take advantage of teachable opportunities to improve their reactions and choices, and I'm always pleased to hear that many parents do the same.

Turning a problem around positively is essential so that our children's subconscious is filled with continual encouraging information rather than replaying toxic thoughts without the hope of changing them. You can help fill their souls or subconscious with good thoughts and recollections instead of dark, negative memories and issues, which may lead to failure and low self-esteem or confidence.

For instance, I once knew a girl who was "friends" with another little girl who was often unkind to her. Her parents counseled her not to pursue this playmate or argue with her about her behavior but to send her kind thoughts and play with other, more agreeable girls who readily invited her into their circle. 

The following school year, her "friend" was moved to another classroom, and the problem was resolved. She was naturally removed from this girl's environment because she didn't resist her, thought kind thoughts, and turned to other friends.

I recommended to my little friend that she send the other child kind thoughts and bless her as suggested in the bible by Jesus. Matthew 5:43-44. (But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you.)

I am a why girl. I always questioned my mother about why this was and why that was. As I have traveled through life, I have found the answer to some of my questions. Why follow Jesus's teaching in this verse? If we engage in hatred, unforgiveness, or anger with others, we open ourselves up to more of the same behavior. Remember, what we sow, we reap; like attracts like. Renewing our minds with good, positive thoughts is what we will bring to ourselves. I don't know about you, but this concept is a bolded, starred entry in my book of life and a golden nugget!

I went further with my little friend and recommended that she picture herself filled with joy, happy to be in school with many friends, favor from her teacher and others within the school, and doing excellent work. I reminded her that her thoughts are like magnets, attracting more of what she thinks. She was very excited to hear this.

Discussing difficulties at dinner and how to turn them around is an excellent teaching practice. Show your children that this is the perfect opportunity to forgive others. As they forgive others immediately, they will not open themselves up to more negative events. Again, what we sow, we reap. Jesus's teachings were not only brilliant but practical for everyday living. He's an awesome teacher.

Reference - Galatians 6:7 - (Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.) We can buck against and resist it, but God's laws do not change. We can live by this or spend a lifetime stuck in the mud of discontent, wondering why everything is so difficult.

Thanks for reading and considering this golden nugget!

Denise

The Curiosity Game

On Thanksgiving, we had all of our family's children gathered together. I wanted to introduce a new game that would encourage them to think about a word with curiosity and think about it in a new way.

I filled a paper lunch bag halfway with folded slips of paper. On each paper was a word, for instance, dragonflies. Each child reached into the bag individually and pulled out a paper. If they were too young to read, like my youngest grandchild, a parent read it for them.   

One word was dragonflies; if they pulled that paper, they were asked to say one thing about dragonflies they knew and one thing they would like to know about. Again, if they were very young, a parent helped them answer. 

Once they took a turn, they were given a Bingo counting chip, as shown below. We went around the circle 3 or 4 times. When the slips of paper were nearly gone and the dog was causing a ruckus, I asked them to turn in their discs before running off. In return, they were each given a candy cane. 

Some wanted to keep playing. The oldest loved the game and wanted to keep going, so I promised to join him in another game the next time we were together.

Their parents were happy to have them play something that challenged them to use their minds. I always have a bag of words when I go to a family party. This game can be modified to accommodate your group however you choose.

Here are some word suggestions: dragonflies, magnets, airplanes, tornadoes, plastic, whales, oak trees, owls, peacocks, sharks, deserts, wind, and submarines.

Your selection of words will depend on the age group.

Prizes are optional. I don't always give them, but it was a holiday.

Have Fun!

Denise